Vandread: Research
by The Demon
Summary: And the Demon makes his appearance with a rather tame lime. Duerro makes his move on Parfet to test a theory that's been bugging him for a while... the results might shock even him.


Duerro paced the length of his clinic uneasily. The sterile metalware  
lying in their trays held mute witness to his presence. An empty bed  
and workdesk offered no help with regards to his current... problem.  
  
And a problem it was.  
  
So far as Duerro knew it, only he, Hibiki and that blonde-haired man  
constituted what little first-hand experience the girls of the ship,  
Nirvana had EVER had of...  
  
Well, THEM. MEN.  
  
So far, he was doing okay (as expected, really), but he couldn't know  
about the other two. They didn't exactly provide a very good argument  
for mankind as a race.  
  
And considering the just-recently resolved unrest involving several  
members of the female crew of the Nirvana, Duerro had every reason to  
be cautious. What *other* hidden prejudices did these women harbor  
towards him and the other males? What would be considered intolerable  
conduct at this point? What were the limits? Boundaries of action?  
  
Duerro smirked bemusedly. Well, if ANYTHING were to be construed as  
sufficient grounds for any retribution  
  
(lynching)  
  
, what he was thinking about doing would certainly be a likely enough  
candidate, if not THE choice.  
  
But then again, weren't HIS own fears of the women catching up to him?  
Hadn't a goodly number of the females proven themselves to be rational,  
professional, cool-headed and deserving of his trust? Certainly, the  
woman he was about to approach should count as one of that number...  
shouldn't she?  
  
She was conspicuously absent during the coup of sorts that occurred but  
a few days ago... what was HER stand in all this?  
  
Duerro shook his head and ran a hand through his long, dark locks  
halfheartedly, a wry smile forming on his face. He stopped pacing. A  
decision would have to be made, and a chance of SOME kind would have to  
be taken-- otherwise, he might as well face the entire Earthling fleet  
in an airtight shitpan by himself for all the good it would do just  
pacing, doing nothing.  
  
The tall, somewhat lanky doctor nodded once to himself, pivoted on his  
heel and stepped out of his office door. Seconds later, jaw set,  
stride sure, Duerro walked towards the quarters of the female ship  
engineer known as Parfet.  
  
**********  
  
Pure Evil Productions present...  
A juicy piece of Vandread fanfiction...  
  
"Research"  
by The Demon  
  
Started: 7/15/02  
Finished: 7/16/02  
  
Disclaimers: This Demon does not own Vandread, nor does he claim to.  
Temporary use of certain of its characters is all that this Demon will  
require. This Demon forewarns that this story may have scenes that  
contain sexually related themes, either explicitly or merely implied.  
Do with this information what you wish. This Demon bids you enjoy,  
come what may. Hehehe.  
  
**********  
  
The door to the cabin slid to the side, opening the portal with a  
slightly pressurized hiss-- the automatic response when proximity  
sensors detect movement close by from the inside. A smallish head  
popped out of the newly opened aperture, scalp topped with dark brown,  
braided hair, and a large (some would say 'humongous') pair of round,  
reflective glasses leading the charge.  
  
"DITA, if that's you again with your INANE requests for some kind of  
'alien-capturing' device..." came the somewhat pinched, irritated  
female voice from an angry, wide-open mouth. "SURE, I'm gonna make it,  
alright, but once I'm done it's gonna be six by six feet square, and  
I'm gonna SHOVE it up your--"  
  
"Ahem." Duerro could just imagine the blinking confusion going on from  
behind the giant glasses obscuring his view of Parfet's eyes. His two  
meter, dark-skinned solid frame was a far cry from Dita's small, curved  
body.  
  
"Oh... it's *you*," Parfet said after a moment, still hanging on to the  
doorframe. A glance at her other hand reminded the engineer that she  
was still wielding what looked to be a heavy double-headed wrench in a  
threatening manner overhead. She quickly hid the weapon behind her  
back, covering the awkward moment with a big, somewhat goofy smile.  
"*Duerro*! Hi! Ummm... what can I do for you, doctor?"  
  
"Quite a lot," Duerro began, "or nothing at all, depending." He  
smiled. Parfet smiled back after a moment. The male doctor *could* be  
somewhat... cryptic sometimes. Ah, well. He was better looking than  
those other two, at least. Long bangs covering one eye... a cool,  
sleepy look in the other eye... sharp, angular features...  
  
On a woman, those same attributes would look hideous, but somehow, on a  
man, they looked... *right*. Parfet's smile grew the smallest bit.  
  
Both physician and engineer stood like that for a few seconds, smiling  
slightly at each other.  
  
"Ack! Where are my manners?" Parfet said abruptly, breaking the  
silence, a hand to her head. "Come in! It's just that I'm so used to  
the others just barging in here when they need something. Umm... don't  
mind the mess-- if I'd known you were coming, I'd've cleaned up..."  
  
The 'mess' described was a seemingly random scattering of mechanical  
objects in states of half or full disembowelment. Tools lay about  
among the clutter, many of them still embedded in the respective  
devices they were being used on.  
  
Fully dedicated to her work, Duerro smiled to himself as he stepped in,  
looking about at the assortment of electronics. A little messy,  
perhaps, but machines don't get infections...  
  
"I really don't know why they do this to me," Parfet was saying as she  
followed Duerro in, shutting the door and setting it on 'No Visitors'.  
"THERE, that should do it. All the girls usually chime the rooms they  
want to visit, but with MY room, they just open the door and let  
themselves in! It can get really annoying at times and--"  
  
Duerro turned, fixing his eyes on the shorter person. Something about  
his self-carriage made Parfet stop talking.  
  
"Are you doing anything tonight?"  
  
"Huh?" Parfet blinked.  
  
"Are you busy?" Duerro asked. "Am I disturbing anything?"  
  
Parfet stood silent for a moment, processing the question. Then a  
thoughtful look settled on her face which was apparent despite the  
obtrusion of her largish eyewear. She folded her arms around her.  
She smirked.  
  
"Come to think of it, you don't usually come over my quarters... or  
*anyone's* quarters just to mingle or chat , if I'm not mistaken. You  
must need me for one thing or another, am I right?"  
  
Duerro's face remained impassive. He's got his defenses up, Parfet  
thought, a small smile pulling at the corners of her mouth. Whatever  
it was, it was big.  
  
"Only if I'm not... intruding on anything," Duerro said slowly.  
  
"What's on your mind?" the mechanic invited.  
  
Duerro coughed once. "Very well then-- you're a ship engineer, am I  
correct?"  
  
"Uh-huh," Parfet nodded warily. What's with all the formality, she  
found herself wondering. Whatever it was, it was BIG.  
  
"When a part of the Nirvana-- a *ship* is damaged," Duerro went on,  
"it's your job to fix it as an engineer, isn't it? When something  
malfunctions, you're there to see that the anomaly is repaired, ne?"  
The dark-eyed doctor looked to Parfet for confirmation. He got it.  
  
Duerro nodded and-- to Parfet's increasing wonder-- began *pacing*.  
Had she ever seen Duerro pace? She decided that no, she didn't think  
*anyone* had ever seen Duerro pace.  
  
Parfet began wondering just how big that whatever was going to be.  
  
Duerro, in the meantime, appeared to be too absorbed in his oration  
(premeditated?) to notice Parfet's musings. He continued, "When a part  
is broken, you compensate. And when nothing is wrong, you perform  
maintenance to make sure NOTHING gets broken in the future... a ship  
requires upkeep and constant attention. Otherwise, its overall value  
and integrity would simply deteriorate as time went on."  
  
"Of course," Parfet agreed.  
  
The tall man ceased his pacing and faced the girl before him.  
  
"In other words, the job of a ship engineer is not very different from  
that of a doctor's," Duerro concluded finally. "As a physician, it is  
my sworn duty to help in any way I can any person in pain. It is my  
job to help alleviate physical suffering, heal the injuries and  
diseases that I can. Furthermore, my obligation extends to the healthy  
as well. I have to see to it that every risk of contagion is averted.  
Prevention is better than cure, you see. In the same way, you and your  
team of mechanics see to the 'health' of this ship, so to speak."  
  
Duerro paused for a moment, allowing his words to be digested. Parfet  
fidgeted a little, growing a little impatient.  
  
"Come on, Duerro-- you don't usually mince what you're saying like  
this," Parfet chided the doctor. "Whatever your point is, spit it out-  
I'm *dying* here."  
  
There was a short pause. And then...  
  
"Do you remember the time when the paeksis plagma threatened to overrun  
what is now the Nirvana?" he asked suddenly.  
  
Parfet grinned. She remembered well. It was roughly around the time  
the three men, including Duerro became part of all their lives. "That  
was a few months ago (god, THAT long ago already?)-- you helped me stop  
it by diverting critical systems from the source and then isolating it.  
You called it a double bypass."  
  
"Exactly," Duerro smiled again. "A principle in medicine applied in  
your area of ship repair and maintenance."  
  
Parfet laughed a little, arms still folded. "Okay, you've convinced  
me-- medicine isn't all that different from mechanics. Well?"  
  
The tall man didn't answer but simply looked fixedly at her. And then  
realization dawned on the girl's face.  
  
"You... you want me to help with something in YOUR area of expertise."  
Parfet said, voice a noncommittal monotone. "That's it, isn't it?"  
  
"Precisely."  
  
Parfet's posture reflected her mixed shock, disbelief, confusion and  
even some flattery. She'd always toyed with the idea of the body just  
being a machine of sorts, a machine that would respond to just the  
right tinkering and manipulation, as predictable as any construct of  
gears, bolts and wires. But to actually *consider*...  
  
"I... I don't think I could do anything like that," Parfet replied, her  
answer coming out in short, uneven gasps. "I mean... it would be a  
person's *life* I'd be handling, not some machine that wouldn't  
actually die-- I'm sorry, you've come to the wrong person. I... I  
don't think I could handle responsibility like that, Duerro."  
  
At this, the tall doctor-- against all expectations-- actually laughed.  
  
"Parfet-san," Duerro said, subsiding in his small bout-- but STILL a  
bout-- of unexpected laughter. "Wouldn't you say that lives depend on  
your performing your duties well? Don't lives depend on your keeping  
the Nirvana in top shape against all that it faces?"  
  
"Well, yes, but--"  
  
"It's settled, then," Duerro interrupted her. "Our lives depend on you  
and you handle that responsibility every single moment of your life."  
  
Parfet seemed at a total loss faced with this. Duerro laughed again.  
  
"Don't worry," he reassured the troubled engineer, "what I have to ask  
of you won't nearly be as... ah... *dire*. We won't be playing with  
anyone's life here, if that's what worries you."  
  
"Oh," Parfet breathed, putting a hand to her chest lightly. "That's a  
relief..."  
  
"At least, I *hope* we won't be playing with lives," said Duerro, a  
gleam in his eye.  
  
"Just what IS this thing that you need me for, Duerro?" Parfet had an  
exasperated smile on her face. She was playing along for now, but she  
didn't know for how much longer she could take all this before she'd be  
tempted to beat what Duerro wanted to say out of his skull.  
  
Duerro coughed once and regarded her seriously again.  
  
"In the males' home planet, my work was severely restricted to the  
clinic. Further research on medical history was prohibited to all but  
those in the highest positions of authority," he said. "Here, in the  
pirate ship, Nirvana, I can pursue my studies on medicine without  
hindrance. And do you know what I've found?"  
  
Parfet signaled him to go on.  
  
"That Men and Women belong, in fact, to the same species," Duerro told  
her. "It would explain the compatibility of our medicines, the obvious  
parallelism between our respective anatomies. Both Men and Women  
belong to a single *human* race."  
  
Parfet put a hand to her chin in contemplation. "Hmmm... Yes... I  
mean, we've all suspected at one point or another, I suppose, so there  
really is no big surprise there. I mean, remember that water planet  
where Men and Women actually *lived* together all their lives? That  
would be explained if they-- *we*-- were actually one race."  
  
"Exactly." Duerro smiled and nodded, glad that his erstwhile pupil was  
a good listener.  
  
"Well?"  
  
"How do Women multiply? Increase in number?" Duerro asked.  
  
Huh? ANOTHER seeming leap in topic? Fine, she'd bite. "You mean, how  
do we make babies? You've heard it explained before, right? One girl  
becomes the Homme and another, the Femme. An ovum sample is extracted  
from the donor Homme and infused with an ovum sample inside the  
receiving Femme. The ovums grow into a baby inside the pregnant Femme  
and is born in about nine months time."  
  
"And it's *always* been like that?"  
  
Parfet shrugged. "So far as I know, yeah."  
  
Duerro nodded, a thoughtful look in his eye. "On our home planet,  
children are manufactured in factories, in vats. The whole affair is  
a modified cloning of sorts, where new genetic information is simply  
processed in a soup of mixed DNA. Every individual springs forth from  
a carefully controlled mass culture and is born to the universe on a  
moving steel and rubber conveyer belt."  
  
Parfet felt a pang. To just be *made* like that, spat out into the  
cold, without a mother, or warm, loving arms of any kind...  
  
"Duerro, I..."  
  
Duerro smiled at her apparent discomfort. "No, there's no need to be  
sentimental. None of us remember it happening, and at least there's  
a whole planetful of men like me."  
  
"Well, ummm..."  
  
"Here's my point of enduring interest," the physician said, closing  
the matter of motherless babies for the moment. "The technology that  
makes the Hommes-Femmes system possible couldn't have existed since  
time immemorial. And there certainly couldn't have been baby factories  
during the Stone Age on Men's planet of origin, wherever that may be."  
  
"So you're wondering..."  
  
"HOW did the species propagate naturally?" Duerro finished for her, a  
curt nod of the head emphasizing his words. "In what manner did our  
common race reproduce before the time of ovum-extraction and cloning  
plants? There must have been SOME way."  
  
Parfet's eyes sparkled from behind her glasses. She slapped a fist on  
her open hand. "You've got a theory on how it was done! That's it,  
isn't it? THAT'S what this is all about!"  
  
Duerro smiled but felt a large part of his former apprehension return.  
Oh, SURE, she was excited NOW, now when she knew the first half of his  
ideas. The question was going to be what she'd think of the *other*  
half of his theory.  
  
"So... what do you need ME for?" Parfet asked.  
  
At this, Duerro shifted quite perceptibly. If Parfet's eyes weren't  
deceiving her, he might even have *shuffled* his feet a little. No, it  
couldn't be. She closed her eyes and removed her glasses to clean them  
on a corner of her half-unbuttoned overalls. When she put them back on  
and looked at the doctor, he had regained his composure and was staring  
at her with an unreadable expression on his face.  
  
"Are you in any way familiar with the sex act, Parfet-san?" Duerro  
asked in a casual tone, but making sure to emphasize the somewhat  
formal 'san' suffix to Parfet's name.  
  
Parfet's eyes narrowed and she folded her arms again. THIS must be why  
Duerro was acting so strangely when he talked about his idea. Well,  
here she would show him that she was NOT some little girl who couldn't  
handle the realities of adult life.  
  
"Of course I am," Parfet sniffed with a little more indignation than  
she actually felt (actually, the concern he showed for her possible  
qualms with the subject was kinda sweet, and endearing in a way).  
"When there's a physical attraction between two women, it's usually  
consummated in the mutual stimulation of their--"  
  
Duerro cleared his throat at this, a little nervously.  
  
"-- extremities." Parfet finished, choosing her words with care. She  
could show that she was mature about the subject, but not coarse. "We  
call it lovemaking, and it's a very intimate form of interpersonal  
relationship for us. Surely, you men HAVE that, too?"  
  
Duerro nodded. "Of course. I know of several happy couples back in  
the home planet."  
  
"So there, that's settled then," Parfet said somewhat smugly. "Now  
will you please tell me what all this has to do with reproduction and  
babies, and whatnot?"  
  
"Are you aware that a significant difference exists between men's and  
women's... extremities?" Duerro shot at her.  
  
Parfet blinked a few times.  
  
"So... those rumors..." she managed slowly, thinking about how to put  
what she was about to say in the most placating manner possible. "What  
the other crewmembers say about that... 'thing'... that... 'dangles'  
between your... uh... legs. Those were true?"  
  
"Quite."  
  
"Soooo...?"  
  
Duerro's mouth became a thin line of suppressed tension. He pushed on  
bravely. "My analysis of the data reveals that there just MAY be a  
complementary relationship between men's and women's... extremities.  
They're different for a reason, and that reason is reproduction."  
  
Before Parfet could fully absorb all the implications of this  
information, Duerro hit her with another stunner.  
  
"Parfet-san, you've proven to be a most level-headed woman and there's  
really no one else on this ship I'd trust my life with," the doctor  
said, taking a step closer so that Parfet would be sure to hear his  
slightly lowered voice. "Furthermore, I know you to be a woman of her  
field, a most dedicated and excellent mechanical and electronics  
engineer. Thusly, you are a woman of science, as I am a man of  
science. I am of the firm belief that you will remain stoically  
without bias or prejudice when I propose an experiment to be done  
PURELY IN THE INTEREST OF SCIENCE and the FURTHERANCE OF KNOWLEDGE."  
  
Parfet felt like reeling. Such BIG words...  
  
Duerro lifted his head a bit higher and fixed Parfet with his most  
intense look. He didn't flinch once saying what he did immediately  
after.  
  
"Parfet-san... I'm asking if you would have sex with me?"  
  
Suddenly, the room felt oppressively close and constricted for Duerro.  
For a matter of moments, everything within the female mechanic's reach  
looked dangerous. Had she been holding that double-headed wrench all  
this time? She had never actually let go of it. Force of habit? Or  
in the interest of self-defense?  
  
What did she say about the chimes again? Could it be used as an alarm  
system for the rest of the crew as well? Duerro closed his eyes when  
he saw Parfet's arms fall from her chest, grip tight on the wrench. He  
was terribly disappointed, but that was life.  
  
He could hear the angry words, feel the push and shove of security  
manhandling him into the brig (AGAIN). Any moment now. He wouldn't  
resist. He'd brought it all on himself.  
  
Head lowered, eyes closed, he sighed and said, "I know-- it's the most  
obscene, uncouth, typically male proposition you've ever heard. I'll  
understand if you don't want to speak to me again, but please-- leave  
the other two out of my punishment. I thought of all this by myself  
and they didn't do anything to deserve--"  
  
"Just what ARE you talking about?"  
  
Duerro lifted his head in surprise, eyes wide. The first thing he saw  
was that Parfet had removed her glasses and was staring at him with  
large eyes and a peculiar grin on her face. Had he known that Parfet  
had the most remarkably bright green eyes? No, he didn't believe  
ANYONE had ever seen those lovely retinas before.  
  
The next thing he noticed was that Parfet had dropped the wrench.  
  
"Punishment!?" Parfet almost yelled, throwing her hands in the air.  
"For figuring that out!? By paeksis! Why didn't *I* think of that  
before!? You must think I'm such an IDIOT! Well, no, you're too nice  
for that-- well, *I* think I'm such an idiot! I mean, WOW! It's so  
OBVIOUS, now that you think about it..."  
  
And then PARFET started pacing, gently kicking items that got in her  
way to the side as she strode in small, conservative steps, hand to her  
chin, the other cupping her elbow.  
  
"I mean, the POSSIBILITES," she was saying as an astounded Duerro  
watched. "Think of the TIME and EFFORT and RESOURCES that would be  
saved? *Sex* as the means for reproduction? Brilliant! Genius!"  
  
Duerro swallowed a lump that had grown in his throat. He *still*  
wasn't sure how to read all this... but he wasn't being carted off a  
cell, which was always good. He hesitated before touching yet again,  
even tangentially on the question he had been so afraid of.  
  
"So... you'll...?"  
  
Parfet stopped in mid-stride and spun her head to look at the doctor as  
if just remembering that he was still there. "Oh... OH! You're still  
wondering about that proposition of yours?" she realized aloud. "Um...  
Well..."  
  
Duerro held his breath without realizing it, awaiting the verdict.  
Nothing could have prepared him for Parfet's cheeks-to-ears blush.  
  
"Umm... I really... don't know all that much about... you know," the  
blushing mechanic stammered. "I mean, I *sounded* like I knew a whole  
lot awhile ago, but... I only know as much as I've read and as I've...  
you know... heard..." She muttered something inaudible after and then  
tapered off into a breathing silence.  
  
Head still lowered, she looked up at the taller Duerro with her  
newly-discovered green eyes. "No one-- no *girl* has ever actually  
wanted to... you know... And I'm sure that *you*..."  
  
Duerro smiled. And then, he laughed.  
  
"No, no, I assure you," he told Parfet's puzzled expression. "I only  
know as much as my med files tell me. As you might imagine, I've  
always been much too busy to entertain any thoughts of... you know."  
  
They both smiled widely at the shared euphemism.  
  
"Ummm... this will all be in the interest of science, of course,"  
Duerro hurriedly injected.  
  
Parfet smiled dryly. "Of course."  
  
She laughed softly, nervously, but edged a little closer. "So...  
What do we do first?"  
  
Duerro cleared his throat nonchalantly. "Well... Now is as good a time  
as any, I suppose... uh... I think we'd better start by investigating  
the respective differences between our... extremities."  
  
"So..." Parfet stared up into Duerro's eyes. "We... undress?"  
  
"Quite right."  
  
**********  
  
Parfet blinked up at the ceiling, a hand only halfheartedly holding a  
rumpled blanket to her naked chest. Immediately beside her, Duerro was  
doing the same, face to the roof of the cabin, apparently sharing in  
the contemplatative mood. Around them, the bed sheets lay twisted and  
profoundly disturbed. Below, on the floor, their clothes lay in a  
tangled heap, forgotten and unneeded since at least a few minutes (an  
hour??? A day???) ago.  
  
Parfet blinked. "Well..."  
  
"Well."  
  
Parfet blinked again. "Ummm... I think... we could... use a little  
more... research."  
  
Duerro nodded. "You know... I think so, too."  
  
They turned their heads toward each other... and smiled.  
  
**********  
  
Author's Notes:  
  
Duerro and Parfet seem to be a much more interesting couple than the  
matter-of-course pairing of Dita with Hibiki. Hopefully, this small  
attempt at elaborating on what few sparks there were between these two  
during the run of the series has proven fruitful and enjoyable. Wait  
for an unabridged, uncut version to appear. If you might have noticed,  
particular story is only of 'Lime' status, and not fullblown 'Lemon'...  
yet. This Demon bids you farewell. :)  
  
**********  
  
"Paaaaaaaaaaarrrrfffeeeeeet-saaaaannn," a pink-and-yellow-clad female  
in her teens singsonged outside of the engineer's locked cabin area.  
"Open up! I want to talk to you about that alien-capturing machine I  
asked you to make!"  
  
"She's STILL in there?" came a wondering voice from behind the girl.  
  
She spun. "OH! Barnette-san! It's you!" the younger girl clapped a  
little childishly. "So Parfet-san IS in here?"  
  
Barnette smirked. "Yeah, Dita. In fact, she's been in there for a  
while now. I need her to assess these new upgrades I've cooked up for  
the Dreads, but it looks like she's a little too busy with... other  
things."  
  
Dita raised her hands to her mouth in stereotypically concerned  
fashion. "Do you think she could be in trouble in there? Maybe we  
should override the locks and--"  
  
"Unlikely," Barnette waved the idea flippantly away. "The door logs  
say that the last one who went in (and still hasn't gone out) is the  
doctor... umm... whatsisname? Duerro. That's it! If anything's  
wrong, he'll be there to look after her."  
  
"I thought you didn't like the men," Dita pointed out.  
  
"I don't," Barnette told the smaller female. "It's just that the  
doctor's just the most trustworthy of the bunch, is all. And even if  
*I* don't like the men, *Parfet* doesn't seem to mind this one very  
much."  
  
"What could they be doing in there?" Dita wondered.  
  
Barnette laughed suddenly, startling the young Dread pilot beside her.  
"I dunno. Who knows? If they were in there doing a little *doing*  
of their own, it wouldn't surprise me a little bit."  
  
Dita blushed, scandalized. "Oh, Barnette-san, you're so naughty! They  
couldn't be--"  
  
"Ah, you're right," Barnette said, waving her hand about again. "I was  
just messing around. It just isn't possible, anyway-- I mean, they  
ain't even of the same species! Come on, let's just go find Meia and  
Jura and look at these schematics ourselves."  
  
As Barnette strode down the corridor, Dita looked once towards the  
still motionless mass of the cabin door... and then moved away to  
follow.  
  
**********  
THE END  
********** 


End file.
